The Ambiguity of Life's Season

Memory Bengesa speaks to us about navigating life’s peaks and valleys.

I woke up bright and early as I’ve trained my body, after my morning spiritual regiment. I headed out the door, gym bag in one hand and keys in the other hand. As I locked the door and walked towards my car I couldn’t help but notice the chill that was in the air. Usually I would glance through my weather phone application just to make sure I am dressed accordingly to the circumstances and demand of the unpredictability of the weather, but! This one particular day I did not check the weather update as I felt that we were now well off in the midst of the warm arms of spring. When I approached my vehicle I told myself; “It’s not that cold.” As I uttered those words I was taken aback by the cold mist coming out of my mouth. My self-affirmation to keeping my mental state deceived at the current situation was quickly robbed by the few breaths of cold air. Once I opened my car door I threw my bag in the back seat and started my car. I then opened my car trunk and grabbed a readily available sweater, wore it and went back into the driver’s seat and waited for a mere two minutes while rubbing my hands together, in a quandary of the season. I know we crossed over the threshold of winter and the last time I checked this is spring, so I thought. I mean how can you fault me after all we have been basking in the warmth of 75-85 degree weather? I wasn’t thoroughly surprised at the change of weather but more-so the ambiguity of drastic changes from minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day and month to month.

The sudden weather change reminded me of the ambiguity of life’s seasons. You see, we are governed by the calendar and in some places by the seasons. Where I live we “supposedly” have all four seasons; Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall; and because this is what we have it doesn’t mean that the weather stays consistent within the seasons. The season comes upon us but the weather can have its own mind – one that will not necessarily align with the season.  So what does one do in such a predicament? (I am glad you asked) Over the years in my car trunk I keep an umbrella, snow boots, a tank top, a sweater and flip flops. After learning the hard way I decided to be as prepared as I could possibly be.

My Beloved sister, life demands a fair amount of balance and a less amount of self-expectations (you read right). Most times we overly expect out of life what life doesn’t expect out of us (have I lost you-yet?) Here is the thing. As a Christian woman, your life is governed by your relationship with God. So many times in life I used to get caught off guard by the uncertainty of life’s season due to my own failure of maintaining a spiritual balance first. I wanted my expectations of my personal goals and plans to be fulfilled the way I planned, and yet when that moment came about and I was nowhere close to the fulfillment of the deadline then I would either find myself overwhelmed and/or disappointed (for a lack of a better word).  Sure I prayed, I talked to God about my plans and goals but what I didn’t do was respect the fact that God was in absolute control. Sometimes you can feel as though you were off to a good start on that ministerial project when all of a sudden life’s forecast throws you a curve ball. Or perhaps you were two steps away from closing on that ultimate deal when life’s forecast slows or pauses the deal from happening. Perhaps you are one semester away from obtaining that much needed degree and of a sudden you can’t come up with enough tuition to pay for that last stroll of college. Perhaps your business idea is great and loved by many but the banks can’t give you the financing you need.  Perhaps you married the man that was brought into your life by God and now life’s forecast is testing your union. No matter what self-expectations you have, understand that all you can do for the ambiguity of life’s’ season is to always stay as prepared as you can possibly be, and in the midst of a holt, drag or overwhelming situation in the season, make sure you completely turn all your focus to God.

It used to be a time where I didn’t understand. I thought I was doing what God wanted me to do but it was then I realized that even though I am doing what He wants me to do I have to take time and continually focus in Him and on Him, because as life is we can tend to be self-absorbed that God can be easily forgotten in the midst even of fulfilling ministry (ministry being anything and everything to do with God). So in the time of unpredictable life happenings make sure you zoom in and focus on God. It’s been so many times now that no matter what I am doing, deadlines or not, if I get stuck, I literally stop and earnestly seek God. I exercise a fast and prayer regiment and whatever it is I continue after I’ve sought God. It creates less frustration and makes for more understanding and comfort. I know if you are like most you’re thinking; “I pray every day but I am stuck.” That is fine too but understand that God is always desiring a greater closeness than we tend to give Him.

 “The ambiguity of life’s season ought to draw you closer to God than ever before.”

Memory Bengesa, Author

www.authorforgod.com

Memory is a Zimbabwean-born Author of “Born Again Afresh: How Struggling Christians can get back on track,” a Christian Inspirational book that provides a fresh outlook on how everyone can reactivate their connection with their Creator regardless of where they are in the spiritual life. “Born Again Afresh” can be purchased in E-books, Barnes and Noble.com and on line at over 25,000 book retailers by Googling the name of the book and or ordering you copy from authorhouse.com
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To Know That.....

"To know that I have lived this earth and not helped anyone will be uncomfortable for my mind to comprehend and for my stomach to digest, I can’t sit here and hope that relief reaches all of humanity without my ten fingers and ten toes ever aiding, my heart is heavy my mind is deeply-deeply troubled by poverty, I am no better nor less than those without, we are both humanly the same and yet I just happen to have some resources that have succored to my lifestyle but like some I may be just a paycheck away from struggling, if it means that I will spend the rest of my life helping someone cross over from the threshold of no sources in poverty to resources from poverty then consider my purpose through Christ complete."

Amai Africa (Amai means Momma)

How long are you going to go on like this Amai Africa? They stomped and pillaged your land only to take some of your children to foreign lands to hold them hand for foot and use their labor for free, Amai Africa! Not only after you lost some of your children without apology they came and set up poles made of cloths that signified loyalty and dignity only to the one that held these poles and the oceans in which they sprung from to where they were from and yet showed you dishonesty after the bud of the pole dug deep into your soul, Amai Africa! They shook your chief’s hands and confused your children once more to gain all you have, they settled in your house Amai Africa in which you tried to aid hospitality only to find out that your hospitality is not all they wanted, Amai Africa! Once they set foot in your home they used all you have to offer for your children and never once shared with your children, Amai Africa! When your grown children became of age and understood the injustice that happened to their mother (you Amai Africa) they rose up with might and fought for what belonged to them and what was rightfully given to them from birth by you Amai Africa, some fought long and hard and some fought short and hard-with no judgment your children rose up Amai Africa! They rose up for  freedom and liberation, I know that was your proudest moment as a mother but that moment was short lived, as soon as the gun powder dried and most of the strangers headed for the oceans back to where they belong your children became repulsed so much so that they forgot what they had initially fought for , Amai! I know your heart is heavy and it’s filled with sorrow, you raised us to walk in integrity, love, equality and now the same children you nurtured for generations have replaced what you instilled in them for the love and corruption of money, the same culprit that invited unwanted guests to your home in the first place, Amai Africa! You are burdened by the greed, burdened by the sorrow, burdened by poverty caused by mans greed, burdened by the selfish ways that you stand against, Amai!  Through it all you have not forsook your children even though some of your greedy children have left you with almost nothing to give some of your impoverished children, some have left you in hurt, anguish and despair, Amai Africa! You are getting older by the year, some of your children have left because they too like you have been hurt and or angered by the greed of their brothers and sisters, the only way you can restore your home Amai Africa is if you bring back your children from hiding, bring back your children from diaspora, bring back the hopeless children and teach them before it’s too late that Africa will be strong and united without greed and corruption, Amai Africa, raise up a generation that is ready to take care of you in your golden years,  one that is willing to face greed in the face and ban it for good, one that is ready to fulfill your vision, a generation that will stand,  protect, empower, unite and embrace your legacy Amai Africa! 

P.S. Loved but never forgotten